Until about a month ago I was not aware of having heard the word “clickbait”, but I was already aware of what it represented. If you’re as un-internet-speak savvy as me I’ll explain with a few examples:
…what he saw next blew his mind”, “…but she NEVER expected this”, “the 10 most amazing life-hacks you didn’t know you didn’t know”.
These are links to fuller stories, or videos, that try to bait you into clicking by a mixture of hyperbole, misrepresentation, withholding of information and downright lies. There is some discussion as to what exactly represents “clickbait” but I’d sum it up as any link that deliberately withholds vital information on what will follow when that information could easily have been included in the link.
I hate these links for a myriad of reasons. When I initially caught on to them I was annoyed at having been duped for some time into clicking on links to articles and videos that I am not remotely interested in reading or viewing. I was annoyed that it had taken so long for it to click that I really was a worm on their marketing hook.
When Conchita Wurst, the bearded drag alter ego of Austrian Tom Neuwirth, won the Eurovision Song Contest 2014 it was a very clear two-fingered salute from the rest of Europe to Russia.
The harsh way that Russia has been applying their law to prevent “the promotion of homosexuality to minors” – effectively banning any public show of same-sex affection or tolerance – has caused outrage across the rest of Europe and the world. The situation in Ukraine has won them few friends to the west of that area either.
On the night of Eurovision it seemed that if their own country wasn’t going to win then almost everyone wanted Conchita to win. Her song was good by Eurovision standards, and well-delivered, so there was certainly every reason to champion her, but the strength of support inside the arena and out clearly showed that it was at least partly what she represented that was being supported.
Graham has decided that I should grade everything he cooks from 1-10 as he’s got a new cookbook and wants to know what’s best. This can only end in tears. Mine.
I tried saying 10 for everything and was told off. I proffered a 7 for the Thai beef noodle soup and now he isn’t talking to me.
Why everyone should like my friend Knot Telling’s blog at tellingknots.com and facebook page at facebook.com/tellingknots30.
Have you not liked Telling knots?
Asked Knot and if not,
Why not? Asked Knot.
For this site knocks the spots
Off other pages and blogs
Turns leopards into springboks,
Didn’t you know, asked Knot,
That this site knocks the socks
Off cheer-leaders and jocks
Makes wannabe Hitchcocks
Push “snooze” on their clocks
Turns ordinary hacks into laughing-stocks,
Yes I do, replied Tim,
For the chances are slim
That it couldn’t charm cherubim
Fill a half-full glass to the brim
Captivate, fascinate, and infatuate homonyms.
All should like Telling Knots, replied Tim.
Waiting for the bus and the woman standing next to me had really sweet, sickly perfume. “What smelly perfume,” I thought to myself.
Or rather, I thought I’d thought to myself. After a second I realised with horror that I’d said it out loud. And the bus was delayed.
That made for an interesting, awkward, resentment-filled wait…
I have managed to create a new ring-tone and text-tone for my iPhone! You can hear the text-tone below if you wish. It would have been easier to buy one but, as people tend to, I like something for nothing.
Indeed I often expect it. I expect my social interaction on sites such as Facebook to be free, I expect sites such as Youtube to pander to my whim to hear childhood TV theme-tunes for free, and I expect large corporations such as Microsoft to provide my email for free. In the case of my bank I not only expect them to safeguard my money for free, but also to provide me with a free online service to manage that money and pay me interest for the privilege!
One of the advantages of waking up early on a Sunday is that you get to see all the scurrilous and amusing drunken status updates from the night before, before people wake up and delete them.
Well poor show, people, I say this Sunday! Were you all just drinking ovaltine? Where’s the scandal? Where’re the embarrassing photos? Where are the indiscreet comments?
I’m expecting better next week, so go away and practice!