Post office services go postal

Post office

 
A visit to the local post office, where changes are afoot:
 

Me: Can you stick the address label over the existing address on the parcel please. I’ve just reused old packaging and it will be confusing otherwise.

Post Office worker: Oh we don’t produce address labels, just the postage label.

Me: OK, can I buy some sticky labels then to put over the address?

PO worker: We don’t sell sticky labels.

Me (slightly taken aback): But, but, you’re a post office. Surely you sell them?

PO worker (shrugs): We never have. I can give you a scrap of paper and some tape to stick over it if you like?

Me: Well, yes please – otherwise it will go to the wrong place. Can I buy a biro to write on it?

PO worker (grips own pen a little tighter): We don’t sell them.

Me: I, but, post office, thought, erm, can I borrow yours?

…PO worker hands over pen like it’s gold-encrusted and transaction continues and concludes…

PO Worker: Can I ask who provides your internet service at home?

Me (naively): You can but, why?

PO worker (eyes lighting up): Ah because we now offer a range of internet services, including latest optical fibre cabling at very competitive prices. We even offer insurance, mortgages, credit cards and more. We’re not just “the Post Office” anymore!

Me: Well, if you don’t sell pens or sticky labels or produce address labels don’t you think you should just work on being a better post office for a bit longer?

PO worker (snatches back pen): Have a nice day. NEXT!

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